i wonder....

Am i really as big of a cunt as i feel like i am???

zenmeyang?

Respect: something i've been thinking a lot about lately.
How can he respect me if i don't respect myself?
now it's not that i do not hold myself in high regard and/or respect myself.

But by allowing certain things to slide.....
i'm allowing said disrespect.
the next question is... how to stop this cycle?

if i only knew.

feeling bleeeaahhh

my tummy hurts :( bleahhhhhh

here's my friend Orion's poem:

<-- Orion

"I wish I could feel you,
but like grasping at clouds,
you seem so intangible right now

I wish I could hold you
until you cried it all away, and all that was left,
were the good parts

I wish I could touch you
and undo all that had been said and done
making everything anew

and if that were not enough

I might take off Sundays and write for you
so that Mondays I could see you smile.

patience, my precious, these moments are only temporary
I'll be there soon enough

if ever you should doubt, read this and know,
you deserve my love, and I wish to give it to you."

it's fantastic in case u didn't notice.

If you're reading this...

I appreciate you :)

In my opinion-

"What other people think, or feel, about me is none of my business." -John David

"I am alive, therefore my life urges are stronger than my death urges. As long as I continue to strengthen my life urges and weaken my death urges, I will continue to have everlasting health and youthfulness." -JD

successfully engaged in life activity

"The more I win, the better I feel about letting others win.
The better I feel about letting others win, the more I win.

Therefore: I WIN AT ALL TIMES."
-John David

Ray of sunshine

feeling much better today (compared to my sick ass yesterday)

See??








Plus it's friday!!! =) tgif-
renting a car tomorrow (my friend has the HOOKUP)
and first week of Feb. i get my little bug back! :D
so excited!!!!!

Strange experiences?
-Last night i also had this bizarre nightmare-
I was throwing a party at my house and my friend comes over
with his ex (whom i've never met in real life) apparently
they were back together. i'm like 'what the fuck? but ok, if she'll be cool
i will be too.' so we're all chillen and partying,
i was sitting on the couch and he was sitting behind the couch by the
window with his girl. we're all getting yakked out and then i hear
some funny noises behind me. i turn around and he's fucking her right there
in front of everyone!!!!! i was like WHAT?! so i guess i said some
rude shit and beat her up a bit.... cuz she called the police on us-
and my party goers and i spent most of the rest of the night running from the police.
>:O

Stay out of my dreams, bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!






just glad it's not real life :D (very glad!)
xoxo

bittersweet

am i missing you?
or simply the idea of.....
perhaps next lifetime.










MY MOOD described thru music

MLK day

at work today....

MTV is closed
FUEL TV is closed
HBO- closed.

why am i at work again???
we're waiting for elements from mtv- but the runners are slacking... and the people from Parental control are AWOL.
what are we doing here again??

wish I was still dreaming...

where have all the cowboys gone?

sigh.. i'm really bummed 2day.

i'm just so tired of being let down by men.
i shouldn't even set myself up for disappointment, but it's like c'mon guys-
stop fucking around and just be real.


the VA guy- well.... who knows what the hell is going on with that? same as b4- it's nothing cuz he doesn't care about me. he probably has stronger feelings for his ex. (what does it matter anyway, i mean, really?)

CA - the ex: won't leave
the building manager: fucking lies
the soon-to-be -roommate: militant as hell. it's gonna be like boot camp. but better than
anything that's goin on now.

the main problem is me: i was giving ya'll too much credit, affection, emotion, too much of myself. and now it's taken back. now it's mine all mine.
and what biiiaaatttcchhh??!?!?

The dr. must cure his own bald head. ~Persian proverb

I think i figured out how i will be able to fix my car by myself with no help :D

Just like the proverb says, I have to cure my OWN bald head.

ohh the hilarity!

Got it from someone else's blog:
bahai jokes

1) Baby, I just did some Ruhi Book 2 and now I wanna pay you a home visit.

2) When it says "Unite the hearts of Thy servants," baby its talkin' about me and you.

3) Can I do my year of service in your heart?

4) is your last name Truthfulness? because you're the foundation of ALL mah virtues

5) There can't be one universal language, cause when I see you I'm speechless.

6) Are you trying to lose your voting rights? because it is a CRIME to look that fine

7) You're like ruhi book 7, u complete me

8) Girl, i wanna feast my eyes on you every 19 days.

9) Mmm mmm mmm...Lord I love Thy creation

10) All I want for Ayyam-i-ha is you

11) Whats it like to never have to fast? cause it is just SICK to be that fine!

12) I wouldn't mind abiding in the sanctuary of your protection/your heart.

13) Girl is you a tutor, cuz i want you to facilitate my life

14) Will you be the nightingale of my affection?

15) Baby, make like the Treasurer's Report at Feast and give me your digits

16) Girl, are you sure theres 19 Letters of the Living? Cause the only letters i need to live are U and I.

#16 the REMIX: You cant spell Unity without U 'n I

17) Honey, I "Closed one Eye and opened the other", but still all I see is you.

18) Baby, when you sneeze, all i hear is virTUE, vir-CHOO.

19) Babe, i hope you're part of the Core Curriculum cause I wanna learn ALL about you.

http://mauxito.blogspot.com/2007/12/bahai-jokes.html

i'm back....

...and better than ever!!

:D

did u miss me?