animal spirit

i've always felt that the crow has been my animal spirit.

according to native american belief here is what they say about crows:

"The crow is a harbinger of change; spiritual, mental and emotional. Life, death, rebirth, transition magic, watchfulness, look for opportunities coming up, aids in ability to move spiritually and physically. They teach the power and balance of light/dark and spiritual/physical. He teaches to create and manifest things in our lives, all of life is waiting. Crow announces a newness on the horizon. Are you aware of the nuances in life? Are you listening to signs around you? Crow can give strength and show you how to maneuver in intuitions and insights."

found on: http://www.starstufs.com/animal_totems/dictionary_of_birds.htm

awww

he's mad at me....and it's kinda cute....

even though i hate it. at least i know he has feelings. and i can affect them.

i love him. that bastard.

whenever...

you go on missions....i always miss you so..
like now..
le sigh..

prayers for protection

haiku:

so far away now--

when is it that you'll return?

if i only knew.

sniffles.....

always get sad when there's an op :(

boohoo

A. Dick

Andy Dick = a. dick

how fitting- he was sooo drunk last night - he wouldn't go away!

apparently he likes tandoori chicken (and his booze!)

HA!

note to a.dick: stay home + stop drinking. 

thanks.

june 6

O-ZO-MA weekend!!!  sooo excited!!! get ready lovelies - cuz here we coooommmmeee!!!

conditions of today

cranky, hungry,  horny, sleepy, achey-

this is me today.

things we see...but still don't see

Driving thru LA yesterday, i passed the Blessed Sacrament School- engraved above two doors it had the following words: "Grant that I may Learn to love both God and Country."

As I continued to drive something didn't quite sit right with the engraving. Why God AND country?? Isn't nationalism the cause- the very root of evil -- of so many wars, hatefulness, and bigotry?? Why would the sacrament school, which should be representative of that loving, peaceful faith desire for me to love country?? 

I think the answer lies in the interests + motives of those people whom the engravings serve the most. Whose purse strings enabled the graving to occur in the first place. Ultimately, the very same who profits from the modern wars. 

They feed off negativity and hate-

just an update

loverboy

word

Life..

is good :)
<3
xoxo

guess who's bizack!

yup! :D

i miss....

my booty call!!!!!! come back from tahoe!!!!!!!

but in the meantime- check out my friend's awesome design!!



groovy huh?

nyah nyah

my life's better than your life......

"you see that.......

.....I'm going to eat it. All of it." (Zoha to Alyssa, Patriot Village GMU "trailers", 2003)

.....And i did :P

1. 2.



3.

sooo.....

horny... maybe i should become a boxer?? i could use all this pent up frustration to kick the shit out of someone...hmm... sounds fascinating!
(sorta like this guy) -->

the single-life

i need a rebound!! Attention all boys: I'm accepting applications now-

Bizarre experiences

Last night i had a dream about Marcelo- it was the complete opposite of real life in the sense that he was very affectionate and was pursuing me. It was nice, but there was a complete lack of sex!!! Just everything leading up to it. This would be the last time i would touch him. 

Other than that everything is going fantastic!! i've been very busy with photoshoots, production meetings, and trying to squeeze in some leisure time. This sat. b/w the hours of 1 pm & 4 pm I'm hiking up runyon canyon with some friends!! :P It's gotten to the point i have to schedule in time to relax and even sleep in!!! But it's good- it keeps the mind of other things- self-destructive things, and right now positivity and growth are the laws of my life.
BANG!

Expand your mind

Piri Reis map <-- perfect map of antarctica by turks from over 300 years ago-
Wikipedia claims claims first CONFIRMED sighting was by the Russians in 1820's. Check out the organizations that "confirmed" this. hmm...interesting.

Bottom line: Question everything.

how-to-stop the cycle:

Like this..

[ ]

See: zenmeyang posted on 01/31/08

thought provoking?? perhaps.

*Warning* intepret at your own risk- for instructions see projections.














This painting is hanging up in the hallway of my office (not in the office, no no. bosses would never be able to agree on a piece of art) but in the building's hallway (meaningless semantics i guess.) Anways. it's so freaking bizarre- Looks like a cow to me, with a frying pan on his head, mounted on top of a pogostick? what does this mean? I guess that's what the artist was going for- ambiguity? thought provocation? it is successful in that. I look at this every day and though my interpretations vary (based on my perspective that day) I always have 1 thought that's the same. "What the hell IS that??"

Tomorrow's the day

I GET MY CAR BACK!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY=) =) =)







Reunited and it feels so gooooooood.....




words cannot express my excitement!!!







woooo hooooo whoopdidoooooo faallalallalalalala

Italy: a country for old men

According to the Hollywood Reporter, the average age of men in Italy is steadily rising. Right now it's 42.5 - so if you're and old man, or like old men, Italy's the place to be.





On a different note- thank God for modern medicine and drugs! They saved the day =)

i wonder....

Am i really as big of a cunt as i feel like i am???

zenmeyang?

Respect: something i've been thinking a lot about lately.
How can he respect me if i don't respect myself?
now it's not that i do not hold myself in high regard and/or respect myself.

But by allowing certain things to slide.....
i'm allowing said disrespect.
the next question is... how to stop this cycle?

if i only knew.

feeling bleeeaahhh

my tummy hurts :( bleahhhhhh

here's my friend Orion's poem:

<-- Orion

"I wish I could feel you,
but like grasping at clouds,
you seem so intangible right now

I wish I could hold you
until you cried it all away, and all that was left,
were the good parts

I wish I could touch you
and undo all that had been said and done
making everything anew

and if that were not enough

I might take off Sundays and write for you
so that Mondays I could see you smile.

patience, my precious, these moments are only temporary
I'll be there soon enough

if ever you should doubt, read this and know,
you deserve my love, and I wish to give it to you."

it's fantastic in case u didn't notice.

If you're reading this...

I appreciate you :)

In my opinion-

"What other people think, or feel, about me is none of my business." -John David

"I am alive, therefore my life urges are stronger than my death urges. As long as I continue to strengthen my life urges and weaken my death urges, I will continue to have everlasting health and youthfulness." -JD

successfully engaged in life activity

"The more I win, the better I feel about letting others win.
The better I feel about letting others win, the more I win.

Therefore: I WIN AT ALL TIMES."
-John David

Ray of sunshine

feeling much better today (compared to my sick ass yesterday)

See??








Plus it's friday!!! =) tgif-
renting a car tomorrow (my friend has the HOOKUP)
and first week of Feb. i get my little bug back! :D
so excited!!!!!

Strange experiences?
-Last night i also had this bizarre nightmare-
I was throwing a party at my house and my friend comes over
with his ex (whom i've never met in real life) apparently
they were back together. i'm like 'what the fuck? but ok, if she'll be cool
i will be too.' so we're all chillen and partying,
i was sitting on the couch and he was sitting behind the couch by the
window with his girl. we're all getting yakked out and then i hear
some funny noises behind me. i turn around and he's fucking her right there
in front of everyone!!!!! i was like WHAT?! so i guess i said some
rude shit and beat her up a bit.... cuz she called the police on us-
and my party goers and i spent most of the rest of the night running from the police.
>:O

Stay out of my dreams, bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!






just glad it's not real life :D (very glad!)
xoxo

bittersweet

am i missing you?
or simply the idea of.....
perhaps next lifetime.










MY MOOD described thru music

MLK day

at work today....

MTV is closed
FUEL TV is closed
HBO- closed.

why am i at work again???
we're waiting for elements from mtv- but the runners are slacking... and the people from Parental control are AWOL.
what are we doing here again??

wish I was still dreaming...

where have all the cowboys gone?

sigh.. i'm really bummed 2day.

i'm just so tired of being let down by men.
i shouldn't even set myself up for disappointment, but it's like c'mon guys-
stop fucking around and just be real.


the VA guy- well.... who knows what the hell is going on with that? same as b4- it's nothing cuz he doesn't care about me. he probably has stronger feelings for his ex. (what does it matter anyway, i mean, really?)

CA - the ex: won't leave
the building manager: fucking lies
the soon-to-be -roommate: militant as hell. it's gonna be like boot camp. but better than
anything that's goin on now.

the main problem is me: i was giving ya'll too much credit, affection, emotion, too much of myself. and now it's taken back. now it's mine all mine.
and what biiiaaatttcchhh??!?!?

The dr. must cure his own bald head. ~Persian proverb

I think i figured out how i will be able to fix my car by myself with no help :D

Just like the proverb says, I have to cure my OWN bald head.

ohh the hilarity!

Got it from someone else's blog:
bahai jokes

1) Baby, I just did some Ruhi Book 2 and now I wanna pay you a home visit.

2) When it says "Unite the hearts of Thy servants," baby its talkin' about me and you.

3) Can I do my year of service in your heart?

4) is your last name Truthfulness? because you're the foundation of ALL mah virtues

5) There can't be one universal language, cause when I see you I'm speechless.

6) Are you trying to lose your voting rights? because it is a CRIME to look that fine

7) You're like ruhi book 7, u complete me

8) Girl, i wanna feast my eyes on you every 19 days.

9) Mmm mmm mmm...Lord I love Thy creation

10) All I want for Ayyam-i-ha is you

11) Whats it like to never have to fast? cause it is just SICK to be that fine!

12) I wouldn't mind abiding in the sanctuary of your protection/your heart.

13) Girl is you a tutor, cuz i want you to facilitate my life

14) Will you be the nightingale of my affection?

15) Baby, make like the Treasurer's Report at Feast and give me your digits

16) Girl, are you sure theres 19 Letters of the Living? Cause the only letters i need to live are U and I.

#16 the REMIX: You cant spell Unity without U 'n I

17) Honey, I "Closed one Eye and opened the other", but still all I see is you.

18) Baby, when you sneeze, all i hear is virTUE, vir-CHOO.

19) Babe, i hope you're part of the Core Curriculum cause I wanna learn ALL about you.

http://mauxito.blogspot.com/2007/12/bahai-jokes.html

i'm back....

...and better than ever!!

:D

did u miss me?